I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
