Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
