I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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