new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
