if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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