Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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