Can Purell be used as lube?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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