there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
