Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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