Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
