Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
