you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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