My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
