i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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