A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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