it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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