Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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