You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
