in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she peed on how many people?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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