I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
handjob tips. give me some.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize