I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Acid is not a monday night drug
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
