school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
