but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think people are normalizing furries
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
