i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
