and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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