ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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