k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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