i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
