We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
