And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
