Yo dont text me then not text me
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
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