We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
