im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
