My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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