I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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