So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
