can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
