We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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