I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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