I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
