no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
