I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
