I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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