Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
