So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
