We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
