Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
