I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
