What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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