Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
