i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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