Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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