i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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