mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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