Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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