oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
