There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
