Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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