Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize