respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
be right there i have to get my cape
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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