Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Congratulations! We have a period
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize