the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
