I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
