yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
