What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
